16 weeks to make and share

Tips to know (and be able to) take advantage of maternity leave

 

I will instruct, walk, read, do yoga courses. These are some of the purposes of the new life that women undertake when they are mothers. There are those who leave, but many abandon good intentions in a drawer. While they have the child in their arms, they can do nothing but take care of it and be for it.

Maternity leave is 16 weeks in Spain. At first, it may seem like a long time. Above all, it seems like a long time to mothers who lead a frenetic life before giving birth to the child. Work, long hours, meetings, overtime. That is why there are some who think that, freed from professional obligations, they will be able to dedicate themselves to many other activities, in addition to taking care of the baby.

There are some who get out, and who even prepare for a competitive examination. There are others who are taught the time of their hands without having done anything more than cradle, feed and clean the baby. And, in addition, sometimes without having been able to rest or sleep.

Mar Bosch has considered maternity leave to bond as much as she can with Sergi, her first child. During pregnancy, she did yoga and began to collect information on courses she could do when she had little Sergi in her arms. You will take good note of the yoga course for mothers and babies, the baby carrier and the massage. These were the only three objectives and he has managed to do them. “The yoga for mothers and babies is very interesting, because the teacher also makes us do poses with the children in our arms and, at first, it seems that it will not be possible, but then you realize that you are able to have the baby on top of you and move your body“. In addition, Mar points out that “Yoga for mothers is great for pelvic floor recovery, and also for being more flexible, as there are stretching exercises“.

The idea that women are capable of doing three or more things at the same time and doing them well is confirmed, says Núria Alsina, director of the Mima’m center, in Sant Andreu de Llavaneres, where Mar teaches the courses. “In the yoga course there are mothers who breastfeed the child while turning the body, stretching the other hand, maintaining correct breathing and sharing their life experience with other mothers.”

Spaces for sharing

In fact, Núria Alzina explains that all the postpartum courses they take have a space for mothers to talk to each other “because they have very active hormones, they don’t know what’s wrong with them and they need to explain it to other mothers to find out if only what they’re feeling is happening to them.” The monitors will also listen to them and intervene to recommend books and articles and to explain cases that they know and that can illustrate their doubts.

The baby carrier course has allowed Mar to know how to wrap a wrap (a long cloth) around her waist and back to put Sergi in front of her chest and, attention!, have her hands free. “Having your hands free is very important, because you can do other activities while warming the child, which is what they like most when they have just been born.” The monitor shows mothers several baby carriers that are currently on the market and, from there, each mother chooses the one she likes the most.

Finally, Mar’s third course has been infant massage. During an hour and a half sessions he has learned to communicate in a different way with Sergi. “The massage is like a game, you create a bond while you touch her arms, legs, belly.” In addition, both Núria and Mar point out other advantages: “The most basic thing is that it favours intestinal traffic, that you learn to relax them when they have colic and that it stimulates the maturation of the nervous and psychomotor system“. Mar confirms it: “When the massage course was over, I had to quickly put on the diaper, because her intestines had been set in motion to eliminate everything that was left over. And then, when I got home I knew that I would sleep all afternoon, because he was very relaxed “.

So, with the objectives achieved, Mar is preparing to start work at the end of August. “I have finished the 16 weeks of leave, but I am very good, happy, because everything I had planned to do during the leave, I have done. Now a new stage will begin, which will be to combine my work as an industrial engineer with the upbringing of the little one “.

Critical moments

Now, what about when the child is born in the middle of summer? This is the case of Jordina Casademunt, whose only objective is to “survive”, because the birth of the second child has coincided with the holidays of the first: ” I can’t consider taking any course or signing up for anything“. She had only considered doing a little hypopressive gymnastics at home, but it has not been possible. “When it is not one who asks, it is the other and, in addition, now we have a new company at home, jealousy, which appears at the least opportune moment“. So the Jordina says it very clearly: “I have only considered maternity leave to survive with the two small children at home full time and to be able to sleep a little“. If he can, in September, Jordina will resume gymnastics exercises.

There are other mothers who are also unable to enroll in any courses during maternity leave. Núria Vallory will not be able to do it when she had the second child, Biel, because just when she gave birth to him, the call for competitions to become a nursery teacher was published and she had to apply. So she spent the entire maternity leave studying and studying. Of course he was able to do it because ” Biel was a very good baby: he slept and ate a lot, and he was very calm“. While the oldest daughter, Beth, was at school, she was in front of the desk, with the books, and with Biel next to her in a crib.

“A year has passed since all this, and when I now think about everything I’m going to do, I cross myself, especially because I think about how Biel is now, who doesn’t stop, up and down. If I had to study them now, the exams, I would not be able to pass them because I would not have the time I had then “. It must be said that maternity leave has always been a little longer for Núria because she is a teacher: “We always have calculated to have children in February, because that way I linked the 16 weeks with the school holidays, so I would return to work in September, when the children were already 7 months old“.

And Núria assures that it is very different to join work when the child is 4 months old than when she is 7: “The bigger, the better to leave with a babysitter or grandparents. And also because you have been able to incorporate complementary food and you have been able to consolidate more habits “.

Reconciling is not easy

For her part, Neus Gelis, current mayor of Vilanova i la Gertrú and mother of two young people, aged 21 and 19, was only able to take two months of maternity leave, “Because I worked in a small company, and it wasn’t right that I was away for so long“. The two months were spent living intensely and when she started working she managed to change work routines. In fact, Neus assures that some professional routines have been changed thanks to the incorporation of women into the world of work, “because until then it was a classic to hold meetings at night and fold very late“.

In short, it was as if people were more professional for doing that. “When I returned to work, leaving a two-month-old child at home, I prioritized productive work. I have been during all these years as financial director of the company and I have not called meetings at night, because you have to know how to combine everything, especially when you are a mother and have children”.

Pineapple : Solution for mothers

Míriam Tirado was very clear that she wanted to take a long maternity leave. She was lucky that her mother was a psychocorporal therapist, Àngels Torras, and she knew that the postpartum period was an ideal time to bond with the child. That’s why, three years before deciding to get pregnant, she started saving because the pressure of the mortgage and daily expenses wouldn’t force her to return to work when the 16 weeks were up. And he has succeeded. She has returned to work when the child was about to turn two, and during all this time she has been able to do everything she had set out to do, such as now creating a blog (www.natural- cs.org/public/miriam).

And a group of mothers. “We are eight mothers who have children of similar ages, because we have met precisely by coincidence, and once a week we meet at the house of one of us with the children and with an expert that we invite to talk about a topic that we raised.” To do this, they set up the dining rooms so that the children could crawl or play while the mothers listened and asked questions to the expert on a topic related to motherhood and childhood.

The result of everything is very positive, because the mothers have networked, they have bonded with each other when one of them had a doubt or a problem with the child, and they have given each other support in a new stage of life that they have begun to walk together.

It so happens that in Catalonia there are many parenting groups, created by the initiative of a group of mothers, and others promoted by nurseries, city councils, primary care centers and other organizations that know the benefits of mothers sharing experiences. According to Àngels Torras, meeting other mothers in the same situation “is good for networking and so that the mother can leave the house and not feel that she is alone with the baby“.

End of sick leave Now what?

When their maternity leave ends, “a large part of women ask for a reduction in working hours, and this is where the big trap begins,” says Margarita Artal, an expert in equality policies. “Reductions in working hours are legal, but dangerous because they must be well analysed professionally: they imply a reduction in salary, a reduction in contributions, an opportunity for training and, finally, an impossibility of promoting themselves in the world of work“.

That is why Margarita Artal believes that reductions in working hours become a step backwards professionally. In fact, a study points out that “20% of women graduates in Catalonia stop working when they have their second child“. And “a talent for society” is being lost. And all this is due to the impossibility of reconciling professional and family life. “Men need to be incorporated into the housework and child-rearing,” she maintains.

Changes: Postpartum and brain

A woman’s brain is different when she has just given birth. There are two hormones that gain strength, oxytocin and prolactin, which help them bond with the child, which make them very empathetic with the baby, and which activate ” the intuitive, instinctive part of the brain and not the rational one“, explains Àngels Torras, psychocorporal therapist. This fact explains why a woman who has just had a baby can have such a hard time concentrating to study or to read: “The intellectual part is not so activated because the woman is more in touch with the emotional part“. Now, there are advantages in this postpartum stage with this different brain types, “which is that women feel more creative“. Precisely, Àngels Torraso recommends that, during the postpartum period, women carry out activities that incorporate children. “And that they create bonds with other mothers, that they share experiences“.

To know a little more…

‘Vincles. Gestació, part i criança conscients. Consells
i experiències‘ Editorial Alta Fulla. Authors: Àngels Torras and Míriam Tirado
Espai Mima’m www.espaimimam.com
www.artau.es (Polítiques d’igualtat)

Text: TRINITAT GILBERT (13 August 2011) “Ara Criatures”

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Download the original pdf (in Catalan) :

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