The Arrival of a Brother

Each Motherhood is different, each child, even if he or she has the same parents, will live a different story from that of his or her Siblings.

When a new member of the Family arrives, the whole system has to readapt, roles can change and there is a period of transition, acceptance and also mourning.

Siblings who were only children, now are not, have to learn to share the space and attention of their parents with someone else. If there was already more than one, all of them will also undergo changes until the familiar pieces are rearranged in the puzzle.

And it is that for the Parents, but especially for the Mother, being this figure of attachment and unconditional love can represent a challenge. Hormones are on the surface, causing the body to push its mammalian instincts and concentrate on taking care of, protecting and basically making the most vulnerable, the newcomer, survive. On the other hand, mixed feelings and emotions sometimes make bad moves. So many things go through the heart of a mother who has more than one child. The longing to be able to raise everyone in Love, Security and Harmony… that everyone has the same touch, that it can be there with equality for each one.

But the reality is different and that is that no matter how much help she has, her simple attention will be divided on many occasions, wanting to support and accompany the needs of all her children, who at times, will present themselves at the same time. And we all do the best we can. There, as far as we can go with Presence and Love.

The look at the older children changes, perhaps they are no longer the babies they were, suddenly they seem giants next to such a small being and we can feel a wave of excitement when we see that our creature is now “older”, that time has passed, flying! And that little person who now seems to be a little more independent, was also a baby not long ago. As the weeks and months go by, the longing for that exclusive time together, in which we could live adventures together without interruptions, now seems more diffuse, for the simple reason of having to attend to the needs of someone smaller. Perhaps the older one is expected to help and understand, but really depending on the age, they are perhaps, still “big babies” who seek the help, companionship and presence of their Mother constantly.

On the other hand, the little one invades with his aroma the hearts of the Parents, the illusion, perfection and innocence so tangible that they represent. And how one would like to be able to enjoy them in total attention as was done with the first one, to be able to spend hours looking at little hands and feet without having to leave that bubble of love… everything is different with those who arrive after the first one and everything will adapt little by little.